Our whole lives are based on reward and approval systems. Even before we start comprehending things and how the world works, we learn this that we will get rewarded for doing the right things. We knew early enough that we will only get approved by our elders if we don’t do naughty things. When we go to school, we develop the same relationship with our teachers, a relationship that is based on conditions. You get approval if you fulfill the conditions. As we grow up, we realize that our whole lives are based on these same principles. When we continue to be the ideal friends, our peers approve of us. If we refuse to be a part of their silly practices, we will be rejected by our peers.
Our practical life involves higher stakes, we can’t risk getting rejected by our boss. They will only approve of us if we come to the office on time and give the work our hundred percent. Approval is very important in our lives simply because we learned from an early age that we have to get it at all costs. We want to please everyone in our lives, sometimes by ignoring our true selves, to gain their approval and stay in their close circles.
This practice has a few disadvantages too. Children sometimes get involved in dangerous activities simply because they do not want to say no to their friends. In certain moments of our lives, we don’t want to betray people, even when our own safety is at stake, simply because we cannot imagine the idea of disappointing them. But apart from that, it also has a few advantages. It teaches us the importance of following rules. It may not be good to do things only because you want to gain the approval of people. But the practice helps us be punctual, give any work we do our best, and never underestimate the importance of honesty.